The Doctor My Doctor
by CleverClara
Summary: The doctor has changed in more ways than one and though Clara has adjusted to his new face she isn't too fond of his new attitude. Not knowing who the Doctor is anymore she decides to say goodbye to HER doctor one last time and either accept/deny THE doctor.
1. My Doctor

The TARDIS swung open as the doctor and Clara raced in, followed by multicolored smoke and flying debris.  
The doctor shut the door behind his companion, held her at arms length by the shoulders to look her up and down as she coughed profusely.

Her eyes went wide as it had been so long since he held her in any way. He rarely even hugged or held her hand anymore.

She stared at him, afraid to move or look away. Undeniably missing the touch of her beloved doctor.

He held his grasp as he looked over her petite figure with narrowed eyes. His looks were aloof, professional, reserved and emotionless.  
Clara couldn't help but continue to look into his stoic face and moony passive eyes that seemed more cold than she remembered. She could still remember his tender, attentive face with those old but fervid green eyes that would bore into her soul as he affectionately watched over her.

_'I miss them' _She thought to herself.

She missed his affection and treasured attention more than she cared to admit.

Though she constantly tried to remind herself _'Though, this was the same man who showed up on your doorstep, guarded you through the night and whisked you away on journeys throughout the universe and showed you the incredible life of a time traveler. This is not your doctor, Clara' _

By this time he had already let go of her shoulders and was ranting about something as he flipped switches and turned knobs on the console of the TARDIS.  
She looked down and patted her clothes as dust flew and smoked around her. She coughed as she made her way towards the console right beside the doctor where she would love to watch him mess with the controls.

"Have you heard anything I said, Clara?"

She looked over at him "Sorry?" She snapped out of her thoughts in order to focus on his face again. His older but very charming facial features.

_'Even for an older man he was still handsome, even if he was a completely different man.' _

He sighed and turned to her "We have to fix the Shroud cords if were going to get the Tardis going again. " He motioned for the stairs that lead below the console. "We need to get her to the other plane in order to get the 'Eye of Janus' from that damn Roman thief.." He spat as he rushed downward with a handful of colorful wires.

"Right, in order to find the universe Gallifrey is lost in" she followed.

"Pocket Universe, Yes!" He called from ahead of her.

"Right, what do you need me to do." She ran behind him, waiting for his instructions.

He looked at her bewildered for a moment, raked his fingers through his thick salt and peppery hair and stared at the wall for a brief moment before turning his attention back towards her

"Clara, my dear. I am going to need you to work the wires down here while I use the controls. It is going to be difficult and if you don't do it right you will get hurt, so you are going to have to listen and do exactly as I say." He stared at her, his eyes full of determination,concern and worry. Those were eyes she remembered. Although they weren't as loving as they used to be, they showed that he still cared, there was still some of her old doctor in there. "Clara do you understand? I am going to need you to be very careful" He continued.

She nodded earnestly and rushed to the opened panel as he showed her what wires to attach and cords to tie together and how to tie them, because apparently, that was important.

She took note as he then briefly put his hand on her shoulder and rushed over to the top of the console.

"Ok Clara! Exactly as I said!" He said as he began to flip switches.

She began to attach wires as told, she could see the tardis reacting as sparks flew from the console in front of the doctor and she jerked the both of her occupants around.

Both the doctor and Clara maintained their grips and stance as they continued.

"Good work Clara!" He encouraged her as he pulled a few levers. " Now the next set!"

She rushed over to the other open panel and repeated her process.

"Next one!" he hollered. She rushed to the next panel and reached for the cords. She yelped in pain as they were hot to the touch.

"You alright?" He called.

"The cords are burning hot!" she called back.

"Clara, the cords need to be tied! Are you able to tie them?"

Clara could see him struggling as small blasts of fire bursts in his face. The Tardis jerking him in different directions as he held tight keeping his hold on the levers so they wouldn't drop.

He was in pain too. The tardis was in pain. The man she saw frantically yet with such precise practiced and efficient movements scurry around the console trying to maintain his tardis, attain a stolen ancient relic from a bandit in order to go back and save his alien home. That was her doctor. No matter how different he looked or how his personality shifted, it was still him.

She looked back at the panel, sparks flying around her and the heat only growing.

"Clara?!" he called as he raced to the other side of the control panel only to be greeted by more fire to his face and hands.

She reached for the cords, now burning her delicate fingers as she tied the thick cords as instructed.  
Letting tears stream down her face as she tightly grasped and wrapped each cord. She screamed in pain as they not only burned but began to shock her, sending electricity running down her arms making her body shake.

She continued to hold tight as she tried to maintain the little composure she had left.

He could hear her screaming in pain. "Clara! Hold on, Clara!" He called

She finished tying the last cord and looked over to the next panel over, the last panel.

She only need to rearrange and dislocate a few wires. Her arms tingly yet her hands numb.

Fire burned her shoulders and cheeks as she was thwarted another direction by the tardis. Unable to hold herself up, she fell to her knees. She stared at the panel as she pulled herself to it , determined to get to it. Determined to help the doctor.

_Her doctor? No, not her doctor… not anymore. He wasn't hers.. He was THE Doctor now. _

"Clara!" she could hear him calling for her.

_'He still needs me, he may not show it anymore. But I know he still needs me around' _

"Clara!?"his voice echoed.

She pulled herself to the panel, sparks and fire surrounding her as she dislocated to said wires. The doctors screams sounded muffled and she could only hear her ragged breathing. The fumes emerging from the panel along with the smoke and fire were beginning to effect her vision.

"Clara!"

She narrowed her eyes as she tried to focus on each wire, trying to remember which connected where. Her grip loosening on the wires as her vision blurred, her heart was pounding, her limbs were shaking.

"Claaaraaa!"

She could barely hear him as the last thing she saw was her hands dropping the last two wires and fire blasted from the panel.

"Doctor" she weakly called out in a near whisper.

Then darkness.


	2. The Doctor

_'Cold'_

Clara gradually opened her eyes as she could feel the cold hard surface she was laying on.

She could hear the metallic hum of the TARDIS echoing through the room as her eyes slowly came into focus.

She could see the place was no longer on fire, though the burnt panels, black markings from the small explosions and random dissembled TARDIS parts left enough evidence to have her recollect her last waking moments.

_'Cold' _

Her body was shivering, she could see the goose bumps on her burnt and bruised arms and covered in a purple gel.

_'Probably from the TARDIS'_ she thought to herself.

From her arms she could see she was laying on the cold glass floor in the console room.

She went to turn her head and yelped at the sharp pain that arose from even the most minor movement.

The doctor jumped at the sound her pain and within seconds he was in her line of vision.

"Clara!" He breathed.

She watched as he let out a breath of relief as he stepped closer to her. His hands were purple, the same color as her arm.

She slowly turned her hair to see him better when he rushed to her side stopping her from moving any more than she had to.

His hands were freezing as he placed them on her arms and lightly caressed her with his thumbs.

_'cold'_

"Doctor, I'm so cold." she muttered as she tried to shift her body on the floor.

"Oh! That is because you are in your undergarments and-"

"What?!" she snapped interrupting him and immediately regretting her reaction as she felt piercing pain run through her body.

"and it's the reaction to the medicinal ointment that relieves burns." He continued as he placed his hands on her arms again, trying to lay her back down on the floor. "It is going to be cold, but in a few hours you will have no burn marks and the stinging will only feel like bruises."

He shifted as he took his overcoat off and gently took hold of her frail face and placed his coat under her for more comfort.

He then grabbed a blanket and placed it above her as he tucked it in. She watched as he affectionately tucked the cover around her

His eyes, so worried, caring, thoughtful, warm.

"There, all snug?" he smirked. His half cheesy grin, showing off his pearly whites. That smile showing vulnerability, kindness, compassion, warmth.

She smiled back at him, her smile settling as she carressed his face with her dainty fingers.

"warm" she responded.

His eyes, were so familiar again. There they were, that big dopey grin and those sad but loving old eyes.

"There you are" she whispered as she continued to caress his face with only her thumb now as the doctor leaned in closer.

"What are you talking about?" He laughed lightly with a slightly confused look in his eyes.

"I've been searching for you." She said ever so faintly. "My doctor" She closed her eyes and let the image of him singe into her brain.

"Oh Clara." he mused as he picked her up and cradled her, letting her head rest on his chest.

"I know, I've been distant. I just can't be that man anymore." He rested his head lightly on her forehead.

"I can't be your boyfriend" He continued

"You're too old" She jokingly grumbled in his chest earning a hearty chuckle from him.

"Clara, I am a different man now, I need to be different because circumstances have changed." He caressed her arm as he continued to hold her. "But please understand that although I am this way now, I will always be your doctor." he kissed her forehead and held his lips there.

"And you will always be my impossible, perfect little Clara"

He could feel her smile as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I know, but I just never got to say goodbye.." she looked up at him. Her big brown eyes searching his.

"Why? Im still me?" He looked offended

"Say goodbye to the man you used to be" she mumbled.

"I cant bring that young face back, Clara" his frown starting to grow.

"Not what I'm asking" and before he could respond she used her great strength to lift her self up. Having her lips press firmly against his as they have done before. Her hands now snaking around his neck and her fingers raking the back of his head, pulling him closer.

He didn't retaliate nor retreat. He gave in to the kiss, wrapping his arms tightly around her faint frame, holding her closer as he deepened the kiss.

Her lips parting granting him further access as his tongue probed through and met hers. His hands roamed her petite yet curvy figure as their tongues continued to dance.  
The warmth of her body pressing against his, the strength of his body and form holding tightly against hers.

It was just what the doctor ordered.

Clara finally broke the kiss leaving them both breathing heavily staring into each others eyes.

The doctor broke his gaze to place a kiss on her forehead.

"Goodbye, My dear friend" she pecked his lips lightly with her soft warm kisses "and Hello, Doctor" she pecked him again only this time a little longer. He deepened the kiss lightly and then stroked her cheek.

Her eyes closed and he could tell she was meeting exhaustion.

"Goodnight..my dear, Clara" he whispered as he gave her one last kiss. The final kiss he would give her, knowing that after this, they could never do this again.

He picked her up and began walking down the corridor to her room.

He was a different man, he couldn't flirt and fool around like he used to.

He laid his dear friend and companion on her bed, stroked his impossible girls face one last time.

He loved her, he will always love her. Like he will always love the few others that held his heart.

He tucked her in, gave her one last loving look and motioned to the control room.

He had a mission and he had to be..

The Doctor.


End file.
